In the south we like to do something called a “push present”. Basically it is where, in exchange for birthing a baby, mom gets something she wants from dad. Honestly, sounds pretty fair to me. If you’ve never heard of this don’t fret – you can tell your husband later and demand recompense 🙂
Anywho, years ago before Dave and I were even married, I read an article on Pinterest where this woman got a diamond band each time she had a child (thank god she only had 3 and not 7) and stacked them with her engagement ring. The idea was that when her kids were old enough to get married she would give them “their” ring to use in an engagement ring or a wedding band so that they each had their own and didn’t have to fight over her engagement ring. I loved the idea, so when David and I got married I told him I didn’t want a wedding band I only wanted an engagement ring, but that he would pay for it down the road. LOL
When Kensington was born I got my first band – a beautiful platinum infinity band with diamonds (convenient that Kensington’s birth stone was a diamond). I loved the way it looked with my engagement ring and figured even if platinum or infinity bands are out of style when she gets married she can always use the diamonds.
With Everett’s birth this year I wanted something to compliment my existing rings but be slightly different. His is a beautiful band with 7 round diamonds. I absolutely love it.
What were some of your push presents?
With everything going on at home (Kensington being 1 and unable to walk, Everett being 2 weeks old and unable to do anything, breastfeeding, and general life) its hard to carve out time for David and I. I’m a huge believer in continuing to date your spouse after marriage/children and we both try really hard to assure the other person that they come first. Before Everett – we always do a date right after work before we pick up the kids on Wednesdays, Dinner out at a restaurant on Fridays, and once a month leave the kids at “Parents night out” and go spend some time jut the two of us.
With two super young kids this becomes a little more complicated because honestly we need 2 babysitters. I wouldn’t wish bottle feeding & regular feeding & two sets of diapers & crying kids who cant get places on any one person. This means all the things we did before are still possible, but with us both being home on leave and the kids not being in daycare we need another plan of attack. Bring on the dual babysitters.
I’ve seen so many couples grow apart after they have children either because they don’t spend any time together or remember to thank one another for all they do or even just kiss in passing. David and I try really hard to make sure we make time and I highly recommend it. Plus, its pretty therapeutic to get some time away from the kids and spend with another adult. Really.
My advice for all first time parents (and even 8th time parents) is not to forget this. Your spouse is the person you CHOSE to spend forever with. In a perfect world your children will grow up, leave the nest, and your spouse will still be there. Annoying you by not closing the cabinets and leaving their shoes around the house. Don’t you want to still like them? To still know who they are? So take the time, go on some dates, and stay in love (and lust). Yeah. So here are some date ideas Dave and I are going to do this summer:
- Country Dancing
- Truck yard (a restaurant in dallas with live music and a bunch of food trucks)
- Escape Room
- Rangers Baseball Game
- Cooking class (with wine…lots and lots of wine)
- Korean Spa
- Ra Sushi (they make an AMAZING mango martini and it’s all I want in life right now)
Feel free to steal our ideas 🙂
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