Body Image

I think everyone struggles with body image issues (if you’ve never had a stray thought about self improvement – you’re probably a terrible person). One of my favorite sayings is “Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself?”. I’ve always thought that was such a good way of looking at it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think “I’m huge, I need to lose 20 lbs, my stomach is flabby” etc. and when I think about going up to a friend and telling them their “stomach looks flabby” I visibly cringe. Why do we think it’s okay to talk down to ourselves?

Part of it I think is generational. We hear our parents talk down about themselves (because we’re all human and we’d all like to improve) and then we do the same thing. And let me say – there is nothing wrong with wanting to get in better shape or focus more at work or relax and stop being so OCD. But there is a point where it is no longer about self improvement and instead becomes about self depreciation. That’s what I’m talking about.

Now I am as guilty (if not more so) than most people. It makes me think of that scene in Mean Girls “Apparently there is more than skinny or fat.” (when they’re all talking about their pores and their noses and their hips). We all fall into that trap, and I find myself doing it more and more post children when I want to magically be super thin and ready to rock a swimsuit. So how to overcome this deeply ingrained body dysmorphia? I’m not sure that we (I) can completely shake it off but I do thing there is something to be said for positivity.

Instead of looking at that picture from last night and saying “Ugh I look terrible” say “Oh you look cute!” to the other person or ” well my outfit is on point”. If you have to say something negative make it “not the best lighting” or “wish the camera angle was higher” instead of about you/your body. When we compare ourselves to those in the media – their entire job is to look good. Private chefs, personal trainers, makeup & hair teams, photographers who follow them only getting the best angles/lighting. You can’t look at them and think less of yourself. Only think well of them.

It’s dang near impossible in today’s society not to compare yourself to models/actresses/bloggers/friends/etc. but you can choose to love yourself. To think about yourself positively. Never stop trying to better yourself but do it for the right reasons and do it without tearing yourself down. Love yourself so others can love you too.

XOXO

Kendall

Shop my super cute dress HERE

Shop PINK Blush & their DRESSES

P.S. Currently I’m reading this Mantra to myself 3X per day while I move along my meditation bead necklace:

My body is worthy of my love

my body is fierce and fabulous

My body is strong and stable

My body is full of wisdom

My body is powerful beyond belief

My body is balanced and beautiful

My heart is full of grace

My heart can forgive and let go

My heart is open to goodness

My heart sees balance in the universe

My heart takes the good with the bad

I trust my body. I trust my heart, I trust my mind.

 

Life Stages

So I don’t know if you guys know this but I did a fitness competition a few years ago. I was really into health and fitness, and I had a few friends who competed and were fitness models, and I got so wrapped up in it all that I went zero to a hundred on the fitness front.

It was a wonderful learning experience and I grew so much mentally, emotionally, physically. I really learned about self control and emotional peaks & valleys (lol) and pushed myself further than I thought possible.

comp

I was so proud of myself and David was incredibly supportive and amazing. but I do have to speak to the negative part of this phase of my life. While I was in great shape, and working really hard, I fell into a very common trap for women – sex appeal. I thought that if I took risque pictures like my friends I would get more followers, more friends, more business opportunities & sponsorships, etc. I thought the best way to ‘make it big’ in the fitness industry was to take ‘sexy’ pictures like the other girls I knew in lingerie, or revealing swimsuits.

It wasn’t until a few months later that I realized so many people had seen those pictures on social media that I would never have wanted to. And that now these pictures came up when you searched my name or looked through my pictures. I wanted them gone.

So I furiously removed, and untagged, and took down every scantily clad picture of me except my ACTUAL competition picture (above), but the knowledge that these pictures exist out there was enough to make me cringe.

Ultimately while this time in my life was incredibly challenging and rewarding, proving to myself that I could be fit and healthy, it also cast a dark cloud over me making me self-conscious about the pictures I had once been so proud of. I bring this up only to speak to a few things:

1. If you ever see these pictures of me – yes I took them and at the time thought it was a great idea
2. If you have recently gotten healthy or lost weight or maybe are just beginning I am SO PROUD OF YOU! Hopefully the workouts and recipes on this blog are helpful for you. But a word of CAUTION – a tank top and shorts are just as sexy as lingerie and won’t make you feel guilty later. It is better to be more conservative than risque when creating your “brand”.
3. Everyone goes through different phases of their lives. Some are better than others, but as you journey it is SO important to be honest with yourself and your loved ones. With their support and your own self understanding you can do anything!

xoxo
Kendall

 

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