I think everyone struggles with body image issues (if you’ve never had a stray thought about self improvement – you’re probably a terrible person). One of my favorite sayings is “Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself?”. I’ve always thought that was such a good way of looking at it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think “I’m huge, I need to lose 20 lbs, my stomach is flabby” etc. and when I think about going up to a friend and telling them their “stomach looks flabby” I visibly cringe. Why do we think it’s okay to talk down to ourselves?
Part of it I think is generational. We hear our parents talk down about themselves (because we’re all human and we’d all like to improve) and then we do the same thing. And let me say – there is nothing wrong with wanting to get in better shape or focus more at work or relax and stop being so OCD. But there is a point where it is no longer about self improvement and instead becomes about self depreciation. That’s what I’m talking about.
Now I am as guilty (if not more so) than most people. It makes me think of that scene in Mean Girls “Apparently there is more than skinny or fat.” (when they’re all talking about their pores and their noses and their hips). We all fall into that trap, and I find myself doing it more and more post children when I want to magically be super thin and ready to rock a swimsuit. So how to overcome this deeply ingrained body dysmorphia? I’m not sure that we (I) can completely shake it off but I do thing there is something to be said for positivity.
Instead of looking at that picture from last night and saying “Ugh I look terrible” say “Oh you look cute!” to the other person or ” well my outfit is on point”. If you have to say something negative make it “not the best lighting” or “wish the camera angle was higher” instead of about you/your body. When we compare ourselves to those in the media – their entire job is to look good. Private chefs, personal trainers, makeup & hair teams, photographers who follow them only getting the best angles/lighting. You can’t look at them and think less of yourself. Only think well of them.
It’s dang near impossible in today’s society not to compare yourself to models/actresses/bloggers/friends/etc. but you can choose to love yourself. To think about yourself positively. Never stop trying to better yourself but do it for the right reasons and do it without tearing yourself down. Love yourself so others can love you too.
XOXO
Kendall
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P.S. Currently I’m reading this Mantra to myself 3X per day while I move along my meditation bead necklace:
My body is worthy of my love
my body is fierce and fabulous
My body is strong and stable
My body is full of wisdom
My body is powerful beyond belief
My body is balanced and beautiful
My heart is full of grace
My heart can forgive and let go
My heart is open to goodness
My heart sees balance in the universe
My heart takes the good with the bad
I trust my body. I trust my heart, I trust my mind.